Showing posts from August, 2018

Letting go and letting God

Although I was nowhere near the sea on that evening of 18 June 1994, images of water and sea filled my mind.

I suppose I was standing on the edge of something that frightened me, rather like a child not daring to leave the wet sand on the sea shore and paddle into deeper water. A naturally cautious person, I can be risk-averse.
I was staying in a convent on an individual silent retreat weekend. I had booked in for the retreat to create space at a time when I was feeling stressed for several reasons. I was also wrestling with the horrible suspicion that God might be calling me to ordination as a priest in the Church of England. I was resisting the idea. No, I did not want to be ordained. That was for other people, definitely not me.

During the weekend I read a book I found on a convent shelf. This was 'Pray as you can: discovering your own prayer ways' by Jean Gill, Ave Maria Press 1989. These words on page 15 challenged me:

"All of us are surrounded by God;it is a matter of w…