Seeker

Although I was nowhere near the sea on that evening of 18 June 1994, images of water and sea filled my mind. I suppose I was standing on the edge of something that frightened me, rather like a child not daring to leave the wet sand on the sea shore and paddle into deeper water. A naturally cautious person, I can be risk-averse. I was staying in a convent on an individual silent retreat weekend. I had booked in for the retreat to create space at a time when I was feeling stressed for several reasons. I was also wrestling with the horrible suspicion that God might be calling me to ordination as a priest in the Church of England. I was resisting the idea. No, I did not want to be ordained. That was for other people, definitely not me. During the weekend I read a book I found on a convent shelf. This was 'Pray as you can: discovering your own prayer ways' by Jean Gill, Ave Maria Press 1989. These words on page 15 challenged me: "All of us are surrounded by God; i