Seeker

Last year, in a post entitled All Souls Day I asked whether Christians should pray for the dead or simply remember them with thanksgiving? My answer was that for those who pray and who have lost those they have loved, it is natural to hold loved ones in our hearts before God. I remember them with thanksgiving and trust them to God. You can read the whole post here . Around this time of year many churches hold special services to commemorate those who have died. This can be especially helpful for those who have been bereaved in recent months or years. There is something about coming together with others in the presence of God to light a candle, remember and give thanks that can give hope as we learn to live with the lonely process of grief. The prayer below is a prayer of remembrance, particularly for those who have died in the faith of Christ. I think it can be used for anyone who has died. None of us knows the depths of another's heart and we cannot plumb the depths of ...

After my mother died, more than 2 years ago, one of the things I found hard was not having a funeral that included the presence of her body and its final committal for burial or cremation.  This was as a result of honouring her plan to donate her body for medical education and research for an indefinite period of time after her death. We held a Thanksgiving and Memorial Service which was beautiful and helpful but inevitably lacked the sense of closure that a burial or cremation can help to give. I wrote something about this last year in a post entitled ' On Not Having a Funeral '. Since then 'life goes on', the initial rawness of grief has passed. I can talk about my mother without crying. The memories of her last dying weeks are more balanced now with memories of earlier years. I have mostly avoided thinking about how long the wait might be until my mother's mortal remains are cremated, mainly because it is has been uncomfortable to think about  what medi...

It's hitting me today. The house is still there, but tomorrow is sale completion day on my late mother's home. This photo shows the gate at the bottom of her garden. What fun we children had, going beyond that gate into the wooded area beyond, down the hill to the small stream which we often attempted to dam. Sometimes you have to close a gate, knowing you can never open it again. I did that (tearfully) with this gate not long ago. I still have a key to "Mum's house". Before the new owners take over tomorrow I could have gone there today and wandered around one last time, but it's too far and I've already walked out for the last time from my childhood home - more than once in fact. It's the place where my brother, sister and I grew up. It's a place of security and happy memories. It's the place where my father died, far too young at 55 years. It's the house my parents bought to provide a bigger place for their growing family. We saw it ...

Death of a mother. No - not any mother, but the one I knew as 'Mummy' until that word sounded too childish when I too became a mother. Then she was 'Mum' to me, 'granny' to my children, 'Auntie Margaret' to her nephews and nieces and 'great grandma' to my grandchildren.  She died exactly 2 weeks ago today. She was in her 100th year and frail. Her death was not unexpected. As her dementia progressed over the last 5 years so the grieving for the person she was and the anticipated death to come has been part of my life for a long time. But I still can't fully realize she has left us. It doesn't feel right to speak of her in the past tense. My sister and I and our husbands were with her in the hospital when she died, so the rational part of me is in no doubt about her death, but the emotional side hasn't yet caught up. Not that I haven't cried - but there will be more tears to come. I know that. A few days earlier I sat with her...

96 years ago, on the western front during World War 1, Private Cecil Roughton picked a poppy.  He sent it to his parents as a, “Souvenir from a front line trench near Arras, May 1916.” He survived to old age, as did the carefully pressed poppy. Last year his family gave it to the Royal British Legion .  Thanks to that organization, poppies continue to be a symbol of lives given, lost or damaged by war and the need for support for those affected. Today in the UK is Remembrance Sunday . Today we remember the worst people do to each other and the best people do for each other. We remember that “the war to end all wars”  didn’t; that there have been few days of peace since 11 th November 1918; that this year more UK service personnel came home from Afghanistan wounded or dead. And in many places of the world more people will die today as a result of conflicts. More families will grieve. T here’s no war that isn’t horrible. According to UN estimates, around t...

I don't usually post sermons, but if you are recently bereaved what follows may be of help. Here is  (more or less) the short address I gave yesterday, Advent Sunday afternoon, at a "service of thanksgiving and remembrance for loved ones". It immediately followed a time of quiet prayer. The Bible reading was Psalm 130 .  Whether our bereavement is recent or longer ago,  learning to live with the death of someone we love is hard and often very lonely.  In this ‘time to remember’ I invite you to do 3 things:  look back look up look forward. Look back to remember . Memory is such a precious gift. For some, the person you love, but see no longer, has left you with wonderful memories to cherish. You are grateful for who they were, the love they gave you. Some may also have painful, hurtful memories. But each person we remember today left their mark on our lives. So we honor them, by acknowledging honestly what they were and still are to us. The mem...